Choccy With Gerri

You can do it!

I was sitting in the audience of the speakers association …. I’d been meaning to go to for years and finally I bit the bullet and showed up.

There I was, happily watching all the other speakers taking turns to speak and share moving stories…

As it was my first night, I was told I wouldn’t have to speak, so I was feeling rather comfortable.. until… the horror of horrors….. they called my name…! GERALDINE MCMAHON!

Surely they weren’t expecting me to speak … applause started, as my heart beat to the sound of a rapid staccato tune.. beating out of my chest… Panicked, slowly, clumsily I got up, knocking over my glass of water, and tripping over my bag. My favourite red cardigan, which I had tied around my waist fell to the ground… that was my safety blanket!!! I felt naked… but off I went, as I slowly approached the stage my nerves increased. Those precious moments walking to the stage, which I should have been using to prep my speech – instead I was mourning the loss of my cardigan, my kidneys felt cold without it, I felt raw, bare, and not at all colour coordinated lol.

My word was ‘NOISE’… I felt my palms clammy, and my heart started to beat FAST.. I thought OMG I couldn’t think of ANYTHING!

It was the ‘quickfire’ section where you are given a topic and you speak for 2 minutes…

Before I knew it, heart racing and beating even louder to the (invisible, imaginative) sound of thunder and lighting I was on the stage. Instead of looking at the back of everyone’s heads as I was before, safely sitting in my seat… all of their faces were looking at me! I felt like I was back at school – I’m sure they thought I was a dunce… I felt not good enough, not clever enough, not cool enough…

What felt like hours passed by, but it was literally only a few seconds… and I uttered the word… ‘noise’… I had to talk about noise… I uttered the word ‘Noise’… and then I said it again ‘Noise!’

Nothing was coming…

And all I could say before I ran from the stage was… ‘Noise.. well there’s not a lot of noise coming out of my mouth’ and I scurried back to my seat.

Unfortunately, as there weren’t many people there that night, there were TWO rounds, so I realised soon I’d have to go up again! I used the time to practice all the tools I knew back then, and miracle of miracles… when I got up to speak I was confident, inspiring and it was even FUN!

I used the story of my first adult speaking experience many months later as a topic in a speaking competition. Guess what? I actually came first in the competition! Shortly after, I became the President of the Speakers of London Association. A journey I had started – not able to utter more than a few words – ended in a massive personal victory and the foundation of my current business! 

If you have a dream, maybe you would love to be a coach, a teacher, a writer, or a speaker – it’s all about the constantly taking the steps…

Your challenges are all part of the journey… that’s alchemy baby! Transforming your fear into what you love!

If you feel like you’ve failed at something, maybe it was just the seed, planted in the darkness and with trust, hope, love and allowing and a little more time it can bloom into your soul path and your most awesome days.

If you want more clarity on your soul path, and how to create a smooth path to creating what you DO love – you know where I am, book a complimentary call here.

Also published on Medium.

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